Sociophobia – the fear of not being accepted by society – is a popular neurosis of our time. People suffering from it, mistakenly perceive this disorder as an unchangeable part of their personality. And some even deliberately cultivate emotional detachment, trying to seem more mysterious. But what is sociophobia really?
REASONS FOR THE PREVALENCE OF SOCIOPHOBIA
In modern society we are very limited in expressing our feelings. From childhood, women are taught ‘not to cry in public’, ‘not to call first’, ‘not to take the initiative in dating’, and a man who speaks openly about his feelings risks being labelled a ‘squirt’.
To date, being sociophobic is a fashion trend. The Zoomer generation prefers to keep their feelings to themselves so as not to be rejected, unaccepted and misunderstood. Perhaps that is why this type of anxiety disorder is rightly called the disease of the XXI century, and a psychologist who knows how to treat sociophobia – will definitely not die in poverty.
By the way, it is important to learn to distinguish the game of sociophobe from a real anxiety disorder. Neurosis manifests itself in a panic fear of publicity and is accompanied by unpleasant vegetovascular symptoms.
Sociophobia should not be romanticised. Evolutionary examples tell us that an unused organ atrophies
In the aspect of mental function, this principle works the same way. If someone avoids socialising and emotional contact with people, they will soon simply learn how to get to know each other, keep a conversation going and be friendly.
Can cultivated withdrawal eventually lead to an anxiety disorder? Absolutely! Fear of negative judgement and emotional rejection contributes to avoiding social situations in which one might receive this criticism.
In most cases, people prone to sociophobia consider themselves shy and timid and perceive these conditions as inherent personality traits that cannot be done about. This limitation takes away from them the opportunity to build personal and professional relationships, and in general, noticeably darkens their lives. However, if desired, any person can get rid of the fear of social interaction, and change the character traits that do not suit him or her to more harmonious ones.
CASE STUDY
Michael developed sociophobia in his teenage years. It is believed that this type of anxiety disorder occurs in childhood due to the unfavourable emotional climate the child is exposed to. However, this is not always the case.
For example, Mikhail had a great family, he was not subjected to domestic violence, and he was not the object of ridicule at school. At the age of 15, he became interested in programming and started to work part-time in this field. The working conditions did not require leaving the flat, all activities could be done at the computer. It was very comfortable at home, and he did not want to leave.
After a while he began to notice that he waited until late evening, when it was necessary to go to the shop. The deserted streets gave an illusory sense of security because there were no people there.
Most of his peers had active social lives: going to parties and entertainment events, gathering at friends’ houses, going for walks… And he desperately made excuses to stay out of society. Mikhail stopped picking up the phone when he received a call from an unknown number, to answer messages, to the last delayed visits to the hairdresser or hospital. So a lot of time passed.
One day he had to go to the shop, got dressed, went to the door and stood by it for 30 minutes
He worried that he was poorly dressed, that people would look at him with judgement, that he would make a mistake with the payment and everyone would see it. As he mentally replayed the trip to the grocery store, his heart was racing, his head was spinning, and his palms were sweating. That day he never left the walls of the house and realised it was time for him to seek psychological help. That’s how we met.
Sociophobia, like many other anxiety disorders, is reinforced by avoidance of situations in which one experiences anxiety. Accordingly, an important component of psychotherapy is, on the contrary, to get into these situations on purpose. Mikhail turned out to be very brave. A month after our joint psychological work he began to visit almost all places that were out of reach earlier: shops, coffee shops, hairdressers and even cinemas.
Gradually he learnt the missing social skills, learning to make eye contact, to walk with his shoulders squared, to talk to strangers. After three months we finished therapy with very impressive results. Mikhail was no longer dependent on his illusory fears. I would like to point out that such a quick result is not always possible. Much depends on the severity of the disorder and the person’s desire to get rid of it.
TIP
Perhaps, reading this text now, some of you have realised that, being fascinated by fashion trends, cultivates in himself a closed mind and detachment. In this case, you can reconsider your attitude to this phenomenon and find the advantages of sincere and open communication with others.
For anyone who recognises a tendency to sociophobia, I strongly recommend not to delay therapy
In addition, you can try to work with this anxiety disorder on your own – in mild forms it is quite realistic. But it is still better to seek counselling from a specialist who will help you to start living a bright, emotionally rich, full life without illusory fears and anxieties.