Complexes have a huge impact on our self-esteem. These complexes are a filter through which we view the world and they affect our feelings, behavior, values, and opinions. We asked an expert about where complexes come from and how to deal with them.
Let’s face it, everyone has some sort of complex. They often relate to our appearance. We feel less attractive, less intelligent than others, and powerless in life, even if we have no rational reasons for it. We asked a psychotherapist about where complexes come from, and the expert also told us how to deal with them.
What is the source of complexes?
At the outset, it is worth considering where complexes come from. The psychotherapist reveals that their source is in childhood. It is extremely important how our parents address us, whether they praise us or do not pay attention to our successes. This model originates primarily from excessive criticism from parents, excessive demands, and discrediting the child in front of others. The result of these experiences is that dysfunctional beliefs are formed in the child’s psyche: “I am clumsy, incompetent, make many mistakes – everyone will notice it immediately.” If the child is loved, feels valued and respected by family members regardless of weaknesses, character traits, and appearance, then they will develop healthy self-esteem during adolescence, without feeling worthless or disadvantaged.
Most of us do not even realize the impact of such behavior on our adult lives. Self-aversion is so great and painful that we mask ourselves, suppress our feelings, and try to hide. However, self-criticism can grow into dangerous proportions and can even take the form of self-hatred. We must realize that hiding our true selves comes at a high cost.
How to deal with complexes?
We now know where complexes come from. The next question is how to deal with them. The psychotherapist reveals that kindness is crucial. We are often too critical of ourselves. Building self-confidence, of course, takes time, willingness, and often the help of a psychotherapist.
Work on yourself
Fighting against insecurities is very difficult and time-consuming. It requires us to constantly work on our weaknesses. It’s worth taking the time each evening to write down the successes of the day. Let’s remind ourselves of what we accomplished, received compliments from friends, or were praised for what we do. It’s not worth focusing on things we have no control over. Our growth won’t suddenly increase by a few centimeters, but it shouldn’t affect the realization of our plans in any way.
Courses and training
Experts organize a series of trainings where we can learn effective techniques for solving insecurities. Is it worth attending such a course? If our confidence is declining, we become closed off from others and don’t know how to deal with these problems ourselves, then meetings with specialists can help us. People who conduct training often struggled with the same insecurities before.