Aggression in the family is never good or desirable. It is always a disruption of normal family functioning and represents a threat to family life. What is aggression? How does it manifest? What can you do to solve the problem of aggression in the family?
WHAT IS AGGRESSION?
What is aggression in essence? It is a specific behavior designed to harm someone. Aggression can take many forms. Its use can lead to the breakdown of interpersonal relationships and violent acts. Violence is no longer just behavior – it is a debilitating process that continues to advance. The aggressor plays the role of tormentor and the victim cannot escape the role that has been forced upon them and is even more convinced that it must be this way and that nothing can be done about it. Often, it is the victims who feel a burning shame and guilt associated with their situation and do not want to talk about it with other people.
AGGRESSION IN THE FAMILY
Aggression in the family is a phenomenon that destroys human relationships and causes the breakdown of this basic social unit. Families with aggression problems may feel regret, bitterness, anger, and helplessness.
Aggression in the family can take various forms. It can be adults who constantly argue and fight at every step. When such behavior becomes the norm and conflicts are common in a family, the whole phenomenon can turn into violence. It can be verbal violence – humiliation, ridicule, ironic jabs at every step, undermining self-confidence, insults, or threats. It can also be physical violence – unfortunately, physical violence in families is still a common form of domestic violence. Violence can also take the form of emotional abuse. In this case, aggressive behavior is manifested by using the bonds that tie these people – the aggressor often uses all kinds of emotional blackmail, including threatening to kill.
AGGRESSION TOWARDS CHILDREN
Children often fear and feel ashamed to ask for help, or may not fully understand that certain behavior that is being shown to them is precisely aggression, and therefore, something that should not happen at all.
A child who is subjected to aggression by their immediate environment may become closed off, isolate themselves from people, and feel torturous guilt and growing anger towards the situation. This may cause the child to become an aggressor towards someone they perceive as weaker in their surroundings. Through their own example, they learn that the stronger person can do whatever they want to the weaker person. Even a child is dependent on the aggressor – an aggressive father is still a father who supports them, feeds them, and gives them a roof over their head. Over time, the child may begin to feel worse and worse, feeling that they don’t deserve their parent’s love and that it’s all their fault because if it were different, everything would be okay.
It doesn’t help either to know that the other parent, even if they don’t directly harm the child, does not resist – which is a common situation in households where domestic violence is a problem. The child sees that the other parent is silent and agrees with this type of behavior, and even more, convinces themselves that they are not worthy of love, support, or defense.
The aggressor is often a morally, spiritually, or mentally immature person. They often struggle with huge complexes and cannot release tension in any other way.
If you have a problem with aggression at home, you can try to solve it, but remember that you cannot deal with it alone. This is where the help of professionals comes in handy. Remember that you must first ensure your safety and the safety of your children. If you want to save your family, you must first take care of yourself. The aggressor must also begin to realize that their behavior is inappropriate. It is impossible to help someone who does not want help.
If you are a victim of abuse, do not be ashamed to seek help. Psychotherapy can be helpful in allowing you to work on yourself and start a new, better, non-aggressive chapter in your life.